When my dad died, he left only his business and the house.
There was no life insurance policy or any savings. My mom sold the business and
went to work, entering the work force at 58 after a lifetime of being a
stay-at-home mom. When she remarried, she sold the house. Two years later, she
had Alzheimer’s. My mom was in a nursing home for several years at a cost of
$5000.00 a month. Whatever she earned from selling the house paid for the
nursing home, plus we suspect a lot came out of our stepdad’s pocket, but he
would never tell us. My siblings and I had no inheritance other than a few
rings, a few pieces of Delft, and a Hummel collection. Nobody really cared.
Why? Because we had an inheritance that nobody could ever take away from us.
My dad sold eggs door-to-door for most of my growing up
years. My mom stayed at home and raised five kids. Yet somehow, they managed to
put five kids all the way through Christian school. I have no idea how they did
it. My mom made our clothes and we ate a lot of eggs. I had no idea how poor we
were. We never went on vacations and we practically never ate out. We certainly
didn’t shop at Marshall Fields. But I never knew the difference. When my dad
started the Chicken House, things were a little better, but even then I was
expected to pay for my own clothes and stuff I wanted. The point is that even
in our relative (first world) “poverty,” we were rich. We had an inheritance
that we would take to the grave and beyond.
Paul says that anything that isn’t Christ is rubbish. Jesus
tells us not to store up stuff on earth. Anytime we get stuff that we did not
earn, it is a test of character. Back in the sixties, a family in our church
was destroyed because when their mother died, the girls fought over her stuff
and couldn’t reconcile. They wouldn’t even get together for Christmas because
they couldn’t look at each other. Not something I wanted for myself or for my
children. I hope I taught them better than that. While I would like to leave
some things behind for them, I hope that Christ is enough. I hope they learn to
hate the things that destroy families and bring dishonor to Christ.
Recently my mother-in-law passed away and the kids have the
job of going through all the stuff and setting things in order. She would have
hated that herself. The stuff had no hold on her. She was a woman who wanted to
do nothing more in a day than listen to her beloved hymns and hear sermons on
tape from her church. Her heart was already elsewhere. Here are the words to
one of those hymns:
When I
survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest
gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it
Lord that I should boast, save in the death of Christ, my God!
All the vain things that charm me most, I
sacrifice them through his blood.
If I know my
mother-in-law, I know that she wants the same thing for her children that I
want for mine. She wants us to pass the test. She wants Christ to be enough. But
we all want stuff. We do—there is no denying it. We are tied to this earth and
we want to hold on to stuff, especially stuff that reminds us of her. We believe
that this will console us in our grief. The question now is whether we will
come to our senses in time to realize that only one thing will tie us together
for all eternity—Jesus Christ. For the
sake of Jesus Christ, can we sacrifice the vain things that charm us most? Can we pass the test?
Hello 'Twin Cousin',
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to tell you how often I have said these same words to friends, as well as my sons.
Life is not about the 'things'. It is so much more than that. Like your dad, my dad delivered eggs, farmed on rental land and did carpentry-remodeling work for others. Whatever could be done, he did. Again, like your mom, my mom stayed at home and was committed to her husband and her family. And, even further, our parents (both yours and mine) were never wealthy. It wasn't until the youngest of my family of four siblings were nearly grown, that my parents started to travel a little bit. The only time we ever went anywhere was our yearly vacation to Lake City, Michigan for the second week of July. Not much, when you consider how much our parents gave.
There was order to our lives, and faith to support it all. At some times, I know that I resisted all the 'church stuff' as a bunch of hypocrisy--yet, there was always the heart knowledge that this is what life should be.
I know that when we were much younger women, there was a beautiful woman that we all loved. She died early at age 56--we called her Grandma Van Zuidam. There was hurt feeling between family members about the who-gets-what-and-why-should-they-have-it. (I know you remember this too). It is good that time does heal all hurts, because our families reconciled and became much stronger.
More similarities? I'm certain that there will not be anything left over to worry about when the day comes that my dad isn't with us. He and mother were always frugal and we never knew we were 'less fortunate'. Somehow, we always had everything we needed. And, yes....we ate lots!! of eggs!!
The material gifts are the memories we hold to our hearts through tangible/touchable gifts. But really, it is not those things that tie us to the people we love. Our gifts are the memories we have shared with each other. The photo albums, show us where we have been and how we have matured. The maturity, hopefully, for each of us would be to KNOW that we were loved by God before we arrived in our earthly bodies, and we will return to him again when we wear out that same old earthly shell. I'm looking forward to 'being tied together again' for eternity....with Christ and my Family! Maybe that's why we hold on to the material things, until the time comes that we can relax and put our hand in His at the end.
Until then, the photo that hangs on my bedroom wall of you and I together as children, as well as the photos of my children are things I cherish. It is also, the wedding rings I wear each day that belonged to Grandma VZ. But...I had to wait until last year before I received that gift from my Dad. You can do the math on that one--that was a 46 year wait. The next time I wait 46 years, well.....I'll be celebrating with you in Heaven! Yeah us!! and we'll be singing the hymns, and playing the organ and piano like we did when we were kids.
Did I say I love the way you write? I do. You touch my heart. Kindred hearts, I guess.
Love this! It is a hard lesson to learn that the things that charm us so much can be the very things that destroy us. I cherish a lot of these things, too. The things a loved one wore, jewelry, possessions, and the scent left behind in clothing can overpower us emotionally. But when those things we cherish cause strife and division among the loved ones left behind, Satan wins. Oh that we could all echo the Psalmist: "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire beside You." Love you too, Cousin! Can't wait for that final reunion.
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